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A Return to Love .....

After emotional storms...... forgiving along the way! For your highest Spiritual Truth

A RETURN TO LOVE after the emotional storms.........(and forgiving our/their trespasses along the way!)

Good Morning! Happy Tuesday and I wish you love and peace for the week ahead!

WOW! I cannot believe how much the weather has been so extremely different from one extreme to the other...

day to day....... hour to hour...... moment to moment even!

One second I am out in my garden playing with my herbs and then the next moment a huge storm just creeps up out of nowhere and I have to run inside like a mad woman.....

Well.... emotions are just like that sometimes too....

WIth all of the purging and shedding happening in the universe right now, let me just say that energies are INTENSE!

Why are we all purging and why is stuff that we stuffed so deeply coming up so abruptly?

Because on 8/8 there will be a huge blessing for all of us if we do our soul work and truly work on releasing what we carry that is holding us back!

An energetic portal with 8 energies (7 archangels and the Lion =christ consciousness....I will talk more about that in another post this week))

So with this in mind, I decided I should start working on clearing and releasing what I needed to in order to open up space for my new beginning I have been preparing for all year......

a month ago I asked Universe and my higher self "What would it take for me to step into my full light? What is stopping me from getting really big and helping millions of people?"

I was answered within a day or so... so strongly and clear that there was no mistaking what was going in...

I was hit with heart crumbling and head damaging words from a sibling of mine (whom I share a sperm donor with) who is a drug addict that had been using me for 3 years (but I had no clue until that day).....

Staying with me on and off for all 3 and every time he called..... I ran and when he was in jail, I ran to pick him up....

But after I asked Universe what would it take... I am not sure that I was ready to see the truth of the matter so abruptly like that...

I mean, during the last 3 years, I made myself vulnerable to my brother by telling him the rawest and most tender parts of my heart and soul when it comes to the man that created both of us.....

Letting him know about how abandoned I felt since I was the only child of 6 that this man literally abandoned as a baby and has never loved and accepted me no matter how much I have tried.....

confided in my brother and I believed truly that he and I were there for each other to comfort and lift each other up....

until the day when I decided that I needed to put up my boundaries and I...

wait for it......

wait for......it.........................

Said NO to my brother!

After all the years of me being walked on and stepped on and used.....

I finally started to see clearly what was going on and I told him he must go stay somewhere else, because he was not respecting myself, or my family in our home....

and when you say no to a drug addict they are very good at turning everything around on you and making everything your fault!

Now... because for the first time in years, I wasn't doing things his way....

He absolutely attacked me!

I mean shredded me..... in a million little pieces...

said things that even though I know weren't true..... were dirty and nasty and he brought other family members into it saying that "I was the only one who ever considered you family on that side anyway"...

He even brought my mother into it.... calling her names....

the things he said and the things he threatened upon me and my family......

AFTER EVERYTHING WE DID FOR HIM........

about had me rocking back and forth in the corner with my thumb in my mouth and my baba and my binkie!!!!!

The childhood traumas and hurts and the deceit.......... all shoved to the forefront of my brain....

and even the things I thought I had healed within myself and the things I thought I had moved on from......

came rushing back........ and plowed me over! HARD!

It made me human.... very human.... for a few days!

I felt like my light had been blown out permanently......

I felt like I couldn't find the light outside of myself either.......

I felt like no matter how much I cleared myself and no matter how much I would pray and meditate and ask God for help.....

Nothing would make it stop...... NOTHING!

But instead of giving up..... I went even deeper within my being!

and even after I got to the point where I started to feel like I had worked through all of the emotions and pulled myself back up off the floor.....

I still just couldn't shake it....

that negative energy that wanted to keep me feeling small and feeling stuck and feeling like the things he said were true (even though I know very much for sure they are not)......

I worked on cutting ties with that side of the family permanently and i energetically shut the door and I bolted it shut so that none of them could ever hurt me again....

I did ceremonies and energetic clearings over and over and over.....

but I was still feeling a little teeny bit of something.......

Because this wound runs the deepest within my soul then any others ever.........

30 some years of cruelty to me for no reason from these people whom are supposed to love you the most........but yet they made me question who and what I was.......

and no matter what I did, or said, or how much I did for them... it either wasn't good enough for me to win their unconditional love....

or....

it was twisted around into something bad or that they thought I had bad intentions (I am not wired like that.. I dont even know how to purposely have bad intentions... especially not for family).....

I needed help..... I couldn't figure out what the heck I was missing here to completely step out of this and into my new light.......

I went very deep within and I had a "team meeting" with my guides and Angels and I asked Jesus to please help me because I normally am really good at healing things within myself and letting them go....

WHy couldn't I let this go? I was receiving all the signs and synchronicities of letting it go and stepping into a new level of light within myself......

so why couldn't I feel it? I mean I always feel it?

so when I called my meeting with my divine team.... I asked "what am I missing, please show me?"

and then it was made clear to me......

I wasn't forgiving them...... I hadn't truly put myself in their shoes in order to understand why they do what they do.....

SO I said "show me".....

I was taken on a journey where I was literally in the body, mind, and spirit, of each of them and I couldn't believe how much they each are suffering.....

I saw a clear picture of why they do not like me......

Because the light in me is to bright and to someone who stays in their own hell and doesn't even want to try and come out of it.....

is offended by someone who is strong enough to rise above it.......

BeCAUSE HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE....

and this was one of the lessons I was meant to learn in this lifetime....

but that still wasn't what I was missing....

The next day I was meditating and I was shown a vision of forgiveness and shown a vision of being freed..... from the shackles...

SO I spent the next few days focusing on LOVE and focusing on forgiveness....

Even though the verbal attacks to myself and my husband continued...

Even though the "Addict" in my family member continued to threaten and violate every single piece of my soul.....

Even though the narcissistic bully continued to text both of us with words that were twisted and turned and mind torching......

I focused on love and forgiveness........

I sent love and prayers of protection to my attacker..... over and over and over!

Some of you are wondering what is wrong with me, right? Why the hell would I do that?

Your ego mind is saying "OMG why would she do that? WHy wouldn't she fire back?"

But you guys....

The truth is....... in order for me to truly work through the 30

something years of mind wrecking and truly break free of the grips of a blood family that was never ever going to see my worth.....

in order for me to completely close that door and shut the energy out....

I needed to put myself in their shoes and understand truly why they do what they do....

SO that I could have compassion for the hurt they are going through!

SO I could truly, beyond all doubt and beyond all fear and beyond all of the little girl in me that wanted to fight back.....

put myself in their shoes and really feel the struggle they feel and really understand with the utmost respect....

that a person has to be very very sad, mad, distorted from alignment and completely out of balance.....

to act how my brother was acting and to say the things that all of them have said to me throughout the years....

If I fire back.....

then I am keeping that line of negative energy going between us....

If I fire back....

Then I am not honoring them....which then means I am not honoring me!

If I fire back.....

Then I am not honoring me.....which means I am not honoring US!

Because ultimately.... I was shown that like I knew all along.....

every single one of us are connected.... we are ultimately all one!

We all come from the same source and we will all return to the same source

I could literally feel the truth in that when my guides and Angels took me to that space of compassion and forgiveness.....

It is human to stay angry and hold a grudge....

but it is divine to look past the ego and although someone has violated every single facet of your being.......

FORGIVE and HAVE COMPASSION!

When we stay in our hearts and we see the bigger picture of what is happening, because we have stepped out of that EGO (edging God out) mind and we can see clearly that.....

when these events happening our lives, it is an ultimate blessing (yes I said it is a blessing to go through what I did!)

why?

Because in the bigger and more divine picture.... I was clearly being shown what was not working in my life and what relationships were not serving me!

So I stepped back and truly learned my life's lessons in it and truly understood for the first time....

that I have been going through this cycle with that family for 30 some years.... because I wasn't getting it and I wasn't seeing it....

I spent all those years being the one that they would go to when they needed something and because I wanted to fit in... I was the yes maam....

even though many times it didn't feel right and I felt like I was being taken advantage of...

I let it happen hoping that some day they would see the real me and finally love me for me....

but time and time again I would get sick of them taking advantage and then I would put up boundaries and then it would always be turned around that I was the bad person and the problem....

well this time was different and I finally got what God and my soul was trying to show and teach me..... FINALLY!!!

Now I have finally broken through the shackles that kept me chained to a blood family that will never love me or see me truly for who and what I am...

and for the first time in my life...

IM OK WITH THAT!

Because I have taken myself to the bigger picture here, where I am not a victim either.....

I am just the one who is not vibing where they vibe..... so I cannot mingle and mix with that energy anymore!

and it is ok.... truly ok!

Because I have completely let myself return to love and forgive.... have compassion for those that know not what they do!

So that I could close the door energetically and move forward into the next phase/cycle in my life......

with my head held high..... because I finally figured it out and I finally know my worth!

SO please.... if you are someone who has blood family members who do not see you for who and what you are and who accuse you of being exactly what they are....

step outside the box and ask your guides and angels to show you truth...

the sooner you can completely release all negativity and let it go... heal it....

The faster your life will come back into alignment with your true life's path and purpose....

returning to LOVE and compassion after the storm is the ultimate goal here...

to carry no hate in your heart for anyone or anything is the ultimate goal here...

to love even though they do not love you back..... the ultimate goal!

You see.....

Like Mother Theresa says....

forgive them anyway!!!!! It is between you and God in the first place... it was never between you and them!

I send you out into the world with all the love and peace that I can send to you...

if you are struggling, please reach out....

God's(source, great spirit......etc) Blessings to you all....

~Becky Jo (The Wholeistic Healer)

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